Monsters Conquer the World is a blog (and a podcast!) dedicated to the radioactive dinosaurs, mutated insects, gigantic aliens, huge robots, and other colossal creatures that have stomped through major cities and into my heart. If it’s at least 50 feet tall and a menace to society, chances are it’s on my radar. If it’s invulnerable to conventional weapons and has a tendency to fist-fight similarly huge beasts, then we’re really cooking.
While most folks grow up and out of their monster mania, I only seem to love the genre more as time goes on. When my mind wanders, I’m usually thinking about atomic reptiles body-slamming gargantuan robots through famous landmarks. It’s a special kind of insanity that I want to share with the world.
There is a dedicated cult following for giant monsters online, but it can be kind of an echo chamber. A lot of people there hate Minya, when in reality, Minya fucking rules. I wanted to get my own take on the genre out there, and really, I just love yammering about giant monster movies.
So I reviewed a hunk of kaiju media monthly (or uh, attempted to make it monthly), gave my two cents on the movie and dug up some fun factoids about the production and cultural impact of the movie with a healthy helpin’ of terrible puns, pop culture stream of consciousness, artistic cussing, and of course, all kinds of stupid pee-pee poo-poo jokes.
Birth of a monster maniac
Growing up in the late 80s and early 90s made it tough to be an elementary school-aged giant monster fan. I missed the big craze of networks playing campy old monster movies on Saturday afternoons. When we did finally get cable, channels like Sci-Fi and TNT had just moved away from their late-night monster movie marathons.
My first giant monster experience was probably Mr. Stay-Puft at the end of Ghostbusters. If not that demonic Pillsbury Doughboy doppelganger, it would have been the atomic ants of THEM! I did finally catch my first glimpse of Godzilla on a rare TV airing in elementary school, and there was no turning back. He was like a dinosaur, but better. He was bigger than any normal dinosaur, he had spikes on his back! He breathed fire! He was in a city kicking ass, not in a prehistoric jungle kicking dirt!
That was all it took: the big beast bug bit, and I’ve been chasing monster movies ever since. The older I get, the more resources I have to dig into the crazy world of giant monster movies. It’s a weird, wonderful journey that I don’t plan on ending any time soon, even if I don’t hammer out the essay-length reviews any more.