“I AM OFFICIALLY STOPPING MY BLOG”, he said, stupidly.
“For sure nobody cares and it’s way weirder that you’re talking about it,” everyone said, correctly but also kind of meanly.
I don’t know, how else do I open this? I’m stepping away from the blog, but I don’t want to leave it on a cliffhanger. I am okay. I’m not trying to be dramatic or anything weird. I’m just ready to move on.
Not from kaiju, of course. I’m still fucking obsessed. I’m currently watching Zyuranger, Mirrorman and Ultraman Trigger. Zyuranger is my favorite of the three, and I like it a fartload more than I ever liked Power Rangers. I know that’s spicy, but I could never get into PR’s Saved by the Bell-ish stories. And their re-contextualizations of the monsters were lame. There’s a micro review for ya! Zyuranger FUCKIN’ SHREDDDDS, MAN.
Hahaha okay, so yeah, I’m not moving on from kaiju, but I am moving on from writing reviews of kaiju media (beyond the occasional tweet). I don’t feel that burning drive to do it anymore, and there are a ton of folks out there covering it faster and more in-depth than I ever could (looking atchoo, Gormaru Island). It’s time to close up shop. I fell hilariously short of my preposterous goals, but I feel good about it anyway. It was fun, I made some friends, and I found even more big beautiful beasts to go batty for. OH HEY A NEW GODZILLA SHORT FILM CAME OUT TODAY
As an out-and-proud Final Wars Fanatic and a Hedorah-ing Hedonist, I am of course overwhelmed with joy. It’s a fun, silly little blast. I made sure to calmly and maturely let Toho know how I felt about the short:
So I’m stopping the blog, but I’ve got some unfinished writing I want to share. Just for fun, I guess. My notes for the Ultraman episode “My Home is Earth” are a scant few interesting nuggets I mined from IMDB and Wikipedia (and other ‘pedias), but they capture the harrowing, somber spirit of the episode. After that is my partial intro for a Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974) review. I’ve got one more post in me that will be coming soon–the first 75% of a Godzilla vs Kong review plus some closing thoughts. This stuff’s all incomplete–broken links, missing images, unfinished thoughts, placeholder text, all the blood n’ guts–but I’m a bit of a gorehound, so maybe you are too. No matter what, thanks for reading.
First and foremost, Black Lives Matter, Arrest the Cops that Murdered Breonna Taylor, Defund the Police. Furthermore, Trans Rights, Love is Love, No Human is Illegal. Also, wear a mask, wash your hands, and social distance–it doesn’t matter if you’re not at risk for COVID-19, doing those things will save the folks that are.
All right mother humpers, time to make like machine gunfire from a helicopter and finish off King Kong (1976)! That joke made me sad as I was typing it! But this is a classic, tragic beauty and the beast tale, just like its 
Holy balls it’s been over a year since I’ve done an Ultraman round-up?! Happy to say the wait is finally over! I’ve got a pair of Ultra-sodes ready and rarin’ to be recapped, reviewed and reminisced over! This time we got a smoke monster (eat your heart out Lost!) and we got a burrowing worm monster!
Holy shit! A full-blown, for-realsies podcast episode! I (a monster movie fanatic) yak with Ralph (a kaiju-curious new guy) about Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster! I’ve got the trivia nugs and industry secrets, but Ralph’s fresh eyes see a thoughtful, deeper meaning in the mayhem! Plus we frame the subs vs. dubs debate with the timeless classic Hercules in New York, reflect on the heart-wrenching father-son drama of A Goofy Movie, channel the wandering spirit of Don Knotts, get FUCKING PSYCHED about Godzilla: King of the Monsters, and more! Open the link below, slap that play button and join us!
After a long and unplanned hiatus, I’m back! And yes, I’m back specifically to finish my long-delayed review of Gamera: Super Monster.
Ahhhh, Gamera: Super Monster, we meet at last! I had never seen the 1980 entry in the Gamera series until 
MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD 
