King Kong vs. The Dude (Part 1 of 2)

KongPoster

Pretty fuckin’ ballsy to call your obvious  remake an “original motion picture event” 🤣

As a monster movie fan I’ve seen all the Godzillas, all the Gameras… but only most of the Kings Kong.  This month I am one step closer to Kongpletion, because I finally saw the 1976 remake, King Kong!  We got Jessica Lange, we got Jeff Bridges, we got Charles Grodin, we got the guy who played Odo in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, we got some tasty American suitmation, and it’s all in a lavish, mid-70s Dino De Laurentiis super-production!

So what the fuck took me so long? For one thing, Kong ’76 has always had sort of a mixed reception… for another thing, they took out the dinosaurs.  And the expedition to Skull Island (only they make sure to NOT call it Skull Island) switched from an ambitious-but-doomed movie shoot to an ill-advised oil survey (because it’s the 70s, so you gotsta get those gas crisis references in!) These are all really minor, nitpicky things, but in my brain they all pointed to the distinct possibility that this was a King Kong movie that was embarrassed to be a King Kong movie, and I wasn’t exactly champing at the bit for another one of those.

I’m psyched to be wrong though! Kong ’76 is a mixed bag, but it’s a beautiful mixed bag! Most importantly, it IS 110% an honest-to-Godzilla King Kong movie! There’s also a shitload of BUCK NUTTY behind-the-scenes stories about Kong ’76’s conception and creation. Plus it’s fascinating seeing how this movie clearly laid some (unintentional?) groundwork for 2017’s terrific Kong: Skull Island.  So hit pause on Deep Throat, grab your pet rocks Petrox, and get ready to feel feelings about the Twin Towers all over again, because we’re setting sail for (definitely not) Skull Island!

Continue reading

MCTW Podcast: La Llorona!

thumbnailMonsters Conquer the World Podcast is here with a spooktacular new episode! Just in time for Halloween, we’re taking on the classic Mexican ghost story La Llorona and its  2019 film adaptation, The Curse of La Llorona! We’ve got a super special guest to guide us through the wild and woolly world of the weeping woman, our good friend Richard (inventor of the Monsters Conquer the World signature cocktail!)! Richard grew up hearing tales of La Llorona, so we were super excited to get his perspective on the movie and of course dive into the deep folkloric roots of this iconic ghoul!

We weigh in on jump scares and anti jump scares, Mexico’s horrifying(?) Hairy Hand, the real-life historical figure that (may have) inspired La Llorona, Steve Urkel, and so much more!

We also get some bonus ghost stories–enough to fill up the adjoining Shadow Episode, which I super duper recommend checking out!  Come for La Lechuza, Mexico’s terrifying owl witch, and stay for Richard’s run in with a Curandero! Plus Ralph and Richard discuss the nature of ghost stories and superstitions and what they mean not only in Mexican folklore, but the human experience at large. Shit is dope, friendos.

Monsters Conquer the World Podcast is available everywhere you pick up your favorite casted pods, but you can also just clack on this lonk if you wunt: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

llorona333.jpg

I hope you enjoy the episode (and Shadow Episode)–due to life stuff I had to be more hands-off this time, but Ralph and Richard totally crushed it–this is absolutely one of my favorite episodes we’ve done.  That said, between my work schedule (which will continue to be crazy through the end of the year), the hectic insanity of the holiday season, and just needing to make sure our personal lives don’t fall apart, Ralph and I have decided that Monsters Conquer the World Podcast will be on hiatus at least through November and December.  We don’t have an exact return time locked in yet, but we’re aiming for January or February.  We’ve still got a bunch of episode ideas that we’re psyched about, so hopefully life will have chilled out enough by then so we can actually make those episodes.  Of course Patreon will be on hold while we’re gone, but monthly(-ish) blog posts won’t be effected–my review of the 1976 King Kong should be ready to drop (at least in part) before All Hallow’s Eve.  Our Discord channel, Facebook, and Twitter will keep functioning as normal too!

MCTW Podcast: Colossal!

b5-colossalThanks to Ariccio, one of our dashing and charming Patrons, Ralph and Matt bite into 2016’s Colossal for this rip-roaring episode of Monsters Conquer the World Podcast! Colossal has got the goods gang, and Ralph and Matt unpack it all: alcoholism, the nature of empathy, toxic relationships, emotional manipulation, Doritos flavor scientists… Colossal doesn’t fuck around and dives straight into some pretty heavy shit! Oh and there’s rad monster crap too!

Spoilers ahoy, so make sure you watch the flick over on Hulu first if you’ve never seen it! It’s pretty damn cool!

You can grab the episode wherever you get your finely podded casts, or mush this big ol’ link: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

As with all Patrons who attain Godzilla status and pick an episode topic, Ariccio has a dedication he’d like to share. I swear he wrote this, not me:

I can safely say that Monsters Conquer the World has reached a golden standard when it comes to its outlet and community. If it wasn’t for Matt and Ralph, a lot of difficult weeks would go by without an apt wall to bounce off of. Thank you for putting our nerdy passions on a pedestal unlike any other site and for introducing me to a wide variety of movies, including classic kaiju films, which are now some of my favorite pieces of cinema of all time. My admiration for Ultraman and Minya would probably flounder in comparison to what it’s evolved to today (for better or worse). For nearly 3 years this has been the case, and the charm hasn’t diminished even a tad. This all feels very authentic and passionate and I’m so glad to be a part of this Super Apartment Friendship… Now get to reviewing the movie you fuccin jabronies 🙂
WOW!  Thanks bud!  Knowing all this actually has a positive impact on folks is just about this best feeling in the world.  Also, I think we reviewed this movie’s nuts off! Let us know what you think either in the comments here or over on our Discord channel.  Enjoy!

MCTW Podcast: Shin Godzilla (feat. Zachary Bergman)!

516vgGSwt-LMonsters Conquer the World Podcast crashes its bullet trains into Shin Godzilla! We’re joined by special guest Zach Bergman (aka Sour Gout)! Zach’s got a deep understanding of Shin director and Neon Genesis Evangelion mastermind Hideaki Anno; his career, his history in anime, and Japanese culture at large.  All pertinent stuff when you’re discussing a movie that’s got Anno’s ripe, powerful MUSK all over it like Shin G!

Matt and Ralph weigh in on the movie too of course, and we all pretty much have a grand old time yakking about this one-of-a-kind monster movie milestone. Plus we shine a searing purple laser on the (faux) Prince connection, Shin Godzilla’s roots in the 3/11 disaster(s), post-war Japan, otaku culture, hopes and dreams for the upcoming Shin Ultraman, Corporate Ralph, and of course, everyone’s favorite floppy bug-eyed baby boy, 2016’s brightest star, the precious and inimitable, Kamata Kun:

tumblr_ohaoieknH21qgckmbo2_r1_500.gif

Hello my darling son. My perfect, wiggly boy. How is your neck-blood today?

It’s out on your favorite podcast catcher! Or you can hit up this lil’ link-a-rino too: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world. Hope you dig it and have a fun-tastic Labor Day weekend!

MCTW Podcast: Jason X!

51agbqbLBlLHoly frick! Oh doink! Shelley, one of our ruggedly handsome and effortlessly charming Patrons, has ascended to Godzilla status, giving them the atomic power to choose the discussion topic for an episode of Monsters Conquer the World Podcast! In their infinite wisdom they have chosen 2001’s Jason X! It’s a movie with everything! Space Jason (Spaceon)! Schrödinger’s robot nipples! Hilarious-looking future fashion! Oh yeah, and grisly, interplanetary murder. Almost forgot that last one.

We dive into all that and discuss the state of the Friday the 13th/Jason franchise, how Scream flipped the horror world upside down in the late 90s, Teletubbies, and our pitches for Jason’s next big stab-tastic adventure!

Join in the blood-splattered, deep space fun on your favorite podcast app, or click this lil’ link:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

Shelley has dedicated this episode to Goofy Goof (a.k.a. “George Geef”???) and would like us all to take a moment to remember that the wacky, gangly dog-man is also a heartbreakingly good and loving father.  It’s a sentiment Ralph and I agree with vigorously and one that is especially salient with regards to Jason X’s Shadow Episode, which our Patrons will have access to in the very near future…

MCTW Podcast: Godzilla vs. Gigan!

godzilla-vs-gigan-plish-film-poster-1977Monsters Conquer the World Podcast is back for more Godzilla (but it’s only Godzilla if it comes from the Godzilla region of France, otherwise it’s just sparkling kaiju)! This time we’re digging in to 1972’s Godzilla vs. Gigan, a wacky tag-team rock ’em sock ’em epic about a cartoonist, weaponized corn, and a misbegotten amusement park!

We chat about PERFECT PEACE, the fascinating secrets of pro wrestling, and loud chewing! Oh and of course, the fact that 90s sci-fi comedy classic Men in Black ripped this off pretty much from top to bottom.

Hit up your favorite podcast app to listen in or just smack this link-a-rino:

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

Some thrilling news too: if you become a Patron at our brand new G O D Z I L L A tier, you can actually pick what we yap about for an episode!  WHAT?! Have we like, FULLY baked our noodles here?  MAYBE! Zip-zap-zop on over to our Patreon page for all the diggity-deets!  As always, hopping on at the El Chupacabra tier grants you access to our top secret shadow episodes–full bonus episodes that drop right alongside the normal ones! It’s very Us of us.  This time we chat about Crawl, the recent ‘gator flick!  Enjoy! 🐲🎧

MCTW Podcast: Gamera vs. Jiger!

3084393010_3e64c94602_bMonsters Conquer the World Podcast makes its first run at Gamera! 1970’s creature classic: Gamera vs. Jiger! I purposely told Ralph nothing about the movie going in–it is supremely fun experiencing it alongside a first-timer!

We sift through all the joyful insanity that is Gamera vs. Jiger and muse on Gamera’s capacity for baby fever, heroic child endangerment, a furious, heartbroken bouquet bashing, the disgusting beast Santa that we all hate, and that’s all before the final segment where we contemplate upcoming MCTW Podcast episodes!

Grab it on your podcatcher of choice, or slap this stinky linky for all the monster mashing mirth and mayhem:

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

It’s all part of the KAIJULY craziness! If you want even more MCTW Podcast for your (hopefully telephone-pole free) earholes, consider becoming a Patron at the $5 level! Doing so grants you access to the Illuminati-like inner circle where you can listen to the forbidden Shadow Episodes.  In this one we talk about the recent Child’s Play reboot!

Whether you plunge into the Shadow World or stay in the Light, I hope you enjoy our stuff!

KAIJULY 2019

It’s that magical time of year: Kaijuly! Artists are churning out daily kaiju pieces (as always I’m getting a big kick out of Lisa Naffziger’s work), lucky Chicago-bound lil’ stinkers will be hitting up G-Fest this weekend, and today is fricking Ultraman Day! Monsters Conquer the World and Super Apartment Friends are joining in the monster mayhem too! Ralph and I just recorded a Monsters Conquer the World Podcast episode about Gamera vs. Jiger! That’ll be popping up in your favorite podcatcher soon! It was really, really fun watching this with someone who had no idea what they were getting into.

gamera-vs-jiger15

I can earnestly say the episode will be worth a listen for Ralph’s monster impersonations alone.

But wait, there’s even more Kaijuly coolness! Czech it:

Continue reading

Don’t be a Godzilla: Ding-a-ling of the Monsters, Check out Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

MV5BOGFjYWNkMTMtMTg1ZC00Y2I4LTg0ZTYtN2ZlMzI4MGQwNzg4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTkxNjUyNQ@@._V1_

Holy goddamn, guys, it’s here! It’s been here for a little while now!  Didja see it? If not, go see it before you read this!

Of course I’m talking about John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum!

SaltyFailingIridescentshark-size_restricted

Uhh, joke or not, you should actually totally see this if you haven’t yet. I mean I love kaiju shit more than most, but the J-Dub movies fucking S L A P. Totally pure, no bullshit, pedal-to-the-metal, balls-to-the-wall action/revenge movie paradise. 3’s got axes, horses, MORE dogs, Halle Berry with dogs, and of course, the universe’s favorite son Keanu doing all the Keanu junk we all love.

No of course I’m talking about Godzilla: King of the [MOTHER FUCKING] Monsters! It is… so much. The five year wait is finally over, and Big Fella is back on silver screens tearing shit UP.  By now you’ve probably heard a lot about KOTM–what critics thought, what box office bean counters thought, and you might have even already heard what my friend Ralph and I thought IMMEDIATELY after watching it.  But some time has passed, I’ve actually had a chance to process it, and I wanna REALLY dig into this mo-fo.  You know, do that old school MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD SHIT.

Are the critics right?  Are the fans right? Is it like a lot of things in life, something nebulous in the middle?  Did I ascend to the next plane of consciousness watching this thing?  Hop aboard the Argo, fire up the Orca and say hi to Kevin, because we’re entering the realm of GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Continue reading

MCTW Podcast: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

godzilla-kingofthemonsters-japaneseposter-full-700x991Ralph and I saw Godzilla: King of the Monsters, so you better believe we’ve got a big, juicy, turgid new episode of the Monsters Conquer the World podcast ready and waiting for you! We’re on the Google Podcasts app now, so you can’t escape us! We’re everywhere!  But in a cool, fun way. Like cheeky prankster ghosts or helpful, centipede-eating spiders.

We dig into the great, the good, and the uh not-quite-as-good aspects of the film. We go frickin’ spoiler crazy starting at 14:50, so you’ve been warned! Ralph is as insightful as ever, but there is also a non-zero chance he may hail from a parallel dimension.  We also wax philosophical on the World’s Strongest Man competition, cinematic treasure Jason X, and  indulge in some extended Bradley Whitford appreciation.  Either hit us up on your pod-catcher of choice or click below and SMURSH that play button:

https://monstersconquer.podbean.com/e/godzilla-king-of-the-monsters-1559636457/

Digging it?  Liking it?  If yes, be sure to subscribe, rate us, tell your friends, whatever you can do! Anything you can do really does help, and you taking the time to do that means the (Monsters Conquer the) world to us.