KAIJULY ROARS BACK TO LIFE

The June review is just getting later, buuuuuuuttt:

Kaijuly 100!

HOLY BALLS YOU GUYS! IT’S A KAIJULY MIRACLE!  As promised, I’m gonna stream a whole MESS of kaiju stuff over on starting this Saturday evening (probably like 6-ish?)! in the afternoon on Sunday the 15th!   Stay tuned for updates and feel free to throw suggestions at me!

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Kaijuly is also stomping all over the Twitch stream I co-run, Super Apartment Friends! I’m going to (finally) give Super Godzilla another try tonight at 9, with more monsterrific gaming gauntlets throughout the month.  KAIJULY FEVER: CATCH IT!

I’m Queen Leodon!  #YASSSSKWEEN

UPDATE

The KAIJULY 100 stream is just around the corner, so I’ve rounded up a big fat playlist of kaiju krunchies, monster munchies, and dino delites! There are deffo some oddballs and curveballs in there too, including some stuff that I’ve never watched before! Those could be FUCKING HORRIBLE for all I know, but it wouldn’t be fun without a little danger, right? Start time TBD, but it’s a school night so I’m aiming to start in the afternoon and wrap up in the evening. Be there or Ghidorah will zap your little fanny!

Ghidrah, the Three Headed Monster

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Ultraman Review Part 8: Episodes 19 & 20

d17b65bc3cd82d6ba08157d1422ea621Reviewing more Ultraman episodes after a couple months of movie reviews (especially new zillion-dollar Hollywood movies) has weirdly started to feel like coming home.  One of the benefits of Ultraman being a steadily episodic TV series instead of a more disjointed film series like Godzilla or Gamera is its charming and consistent human cast.  I wasn’t so sure about these orange-clad action-scientists early on, but now I tune in for them almost (almost) as much as I do for the giant monster smackdowns!

This month’s duo of episodes load us up with demons, ghosts, and blood feuds that span time and the very barrier between life and death! If you haven’t read any of my Ultraman episode reviews, you’ll probably want to start from the beginning, or maybe just refresh yourself on the most recent round of reviews.  Grab your time capsule and look both ways before crossing Route 87, because it’s time to get ULTRA!

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BINGO BANGO 75 LIKES ON BOOK-FACE!

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We just GOTSTA have a little viewing party to celebrate! This Saturday at 2PM (Eastern) I’ll celebrate 75 likes on ye olde Tome of Faces with an Ultraseven….ty-five marathon! Drop in here: https://www.rabb.it/MonstersConquerTheWorld this Saturday if you can!

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This month’s Ultraman review is still coming too, so keep an eye peeled! The last day of May is still May!

Who ya gonna call? The Science Patrol!

(from MONSTERS CONQUER TUMBLR)

Watching through the classic Ultraman series continues to be a wildly entertaining ride, but one of my favorite aspects of the show has (surprisingly) been the Science Patrol.

This is because the Science Patrol are absolutely, unmistakably proto-Ghostbusters.  

And Ghostbusters is still my undisputed number one favorite movie of all time.

Don’t believe me?  Try and guess which team I’m describing:

They are plucky, lovable nerds that cruise around in a (potentially inappropriate for the job) vintage car decked out with their logo, wear iconic jumpsuits, utilize wacky new tech they invent on the fly, and shoot radical but insanely dangerous lightning-lasers at freaky-ass supernatural monsters in a modern setting.  Said supernatural monsters include man-sized undead horrors AND skyscraper-sized demigods.  Their HQ features a fireman’s pole.  They have an awesomely catchy/singable theme song.

GIVE UP? THAT IS BECAUSE I DESCRIBED BOTH TEAMS MY DUDE

If the Science Patrol are Ghostbusters, obviously Ultraman is Slimer.

Basically twins.

Super nerd bonus round: The original storyboards for Ghostbusters had them wearing Science Patrol-style helmets with adjustable visors:

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Yeah yeah Pygmon is probably a closer fit for Slimer than Ultraman, but it’s funnier to accuse Ultraman of being an ugly little spud.  A disgusting blob if you will. The ghost of John Belushi (Aykroyd’s words, not mine!) as it were.

This is a buddy comedy I would 100% watch though.

Ultraman Review Part 7: Episodes 16-18

ultraman_japanese_tv_series_title_cardWhoa I haven’t reviewed any Ultraman episodes all year! Time to fix that with a trio of titanic tales! If you’re new here or just need a refresher, be sure to hit up the six previous installments in my review series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Real talk: it’s a little disquieting to see that it’s been over a year since I started reviewing the original Ultraman series and I’m barely halfway done. A lot of that is because I take plenty of breaks–I don’t want MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD to become an all-Ultraman all the time blog–but still, damn.  Does it bug anybody, or are we all cool with my meandering pace? (For real, let me know in the comments) was cool with it until I started crunching the numbers… maybe I’m just impatient? There’s a lot of giant monster/kaiju content out there, and I wanna review as much of it as I can!

I might change how often I review Ultraman episodes, but I do NOT plan on lessening the depth I go into for each episode: this show is too influential and too iconic for a quick skim.

Speaking of episodes, we got three winners on the docket for this month! They’re all kinda spooky-creepy too! It’s an exciting change of pace considering the last two I reviewed skewed a little lighter and goofier.  The show in general feels like it’s getting more confident, telling bolder and stranger stories as it goes on.  This month we get a gaslighting asshole from outer space, mind-melting fourth dimensional fuckery, and the return of Ultraman’s most sinister villains! Strap in Science Patrollers, shit’s gettin’ EERIE!

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Merry Minyamas!

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What a blessed time of year it is, friends!  The Prince of the Monsters turns 50 in just a few short days! I’m going to celebrate later this month with a nice long review of Godzilla’s Revenge (aka All Monsters Attack), perhaps the funniest, strangest, sweetest, and Minya-est movie in the Godzilla canon.  It’s a personal favorite that I’ve been saving for a special occasion, and I can’t think of anything more special than the 50th anniversary of this wonderful goofball nerd monster sweetheart gracing the Earth with his presence.

I officially bit off more than I could chew in concocting the “12 Days of Minyamas” over on the Monsters Conquer the World Tumblr.  Intended as a 12-day celebration of Minya that would end on his special day (Dec. 16, the original release date of Son of Godzilla), I quickly and sadly realized I don’t have 12 days worth of new Minya content to provide, but there was a bonus review I was hoping to put together:

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Minya vs. The Aztec Mummy

If you’re reading this you might already know about the episode of Go! Greenman (no, not that Greenman) where Toho’s titular TV hero battles an evil clone of our main man Minya.  It seemed like a perfectly weird piece of apocrypha to spotlight as a special Minyamas gift to the world, but I sadly can’t find video of it to watch and review (I could only find a handful of seemingly random episodes and clips).  There’s not a lot about Greenman online in general (or at least in English).  Wikizilla has a wall-o text describing the episode, and it sounds like good wacky fun: Minya sucks on a pacifier, drinks from a baby bottle and throws a tantrum. Though they trade blows for a while, Greenman doesn’t even bother to finish off the titanic toddler, and instead busts a gut when the villains bitch at each other for making such a ridiculous kaiju. It’s not a lot, but here’s a clip from their battle!

Evil clone or not, it is satisfying to see “Minya” just beat the shit out of somebody bigger and ostensibly “cooler” than him.  This Minya’s taller stature and lumpy, muscular(???) build make it easy to imagine this is troubled teen Minya acting out.

Evil_Minya

Pacifier and beefy biceps is a weird combo.

If anybody has a hook-up on how to watch this thing, please hit me up! It would truly be a Minyamas miracle!  Until then, enjoy some more images from the episode:

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Merry Minyamas friends!

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Ultraman Review Part 6: Episodes 14 & 15

Ultra Man - American Version OpeningAfter a couple months off it’s time to get Ultra once again! As always here are links to the previous installments if you need a refresher: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

This month’s pair of titanic tales gives us sea monster shenanigans, the subversive power of kids’ imaginations, Ultraman’s new face, the show’s most cheekily meta conversation yet, ULTRAMAN SPEAKS, and more! This show keeps getting radder and radder, so chow on a fistful of pearls, finish your chalk drawings, and click on through to get UIltra as hell, buddy.

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Ultraman Review Part 5: Episodes 11-13

tumblr_oiki9vLrt81vki3xpo8_500Let’s get Ultra, fools! I have no concept of how long it’s gonna take, but I’m determined to review every last episode of this show and after a couple months off I’m jazzed to dive back in.

If you haven’t checked out the previous installments or want a refresher, hit up Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4!

This month we get some of the (intentionally) funniest monster action I’ve ever seen, our creepiest antagonist since Baltan, and a fresh, funky formula shake-up! Pour yourself a nice tall glass of oil because shit’s gettin’ ULTRA in here!

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Ultraman Review Part 4 of ∞ Episodes 8-10

ultraman-logoMy in-depth review of the entire Ultraman series continues this month with some Ultra-tasty Ultra-selections! (If you haven’t already, check out Parts 1, 2, and 3!)

With this batch of episodes we get the introduction of three iconic Ultra monsters, a poignant visit from a VERY familiar face, and  Ultraman’s goriest kaiju kills yet! …Though they’re pretty tame compared to what will come later in the franchise! (big thanks to desro’saur 3300 for finding the clip!)

Grab your beta capsule, a pink ballon and hop into your monster-face shaped car because shit’s about to get ULTRA!

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Ultraman Review Part 3 of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Episodes 6 & 7

0f87a18b64d420dd65b7eb366f22f7acHey look, more Ultraman! Welcome to part 3 of my on-going review series! February is a short slippery little month that kind of got away from me, so this time I’m only breaking down episodes 6 and 7. Click here for Part 1 (series intro and pilot episode review), click here for Part 2 (episodes 2-5), and click here to see a fat raccoon somersault down somebody’s hallway.

We’ve got a pair of rad adventures on the docket this month: a kaijuified diamond heist by the sea, and an ancient cult of Ultraman worshippers in an exotic faraway city! Both episodes push the show in exciting new directions, and as always, pack in some kickass, over-the-top monster-mashing mayhem!

Fire up the Corvair and grab your diamonds and your giant blue magic gems, because it’s time to make some jewelry save the world from killer kaiju! Two more times!

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