Merry Minyamas!

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What a blessed time of year it is, friends!  The Prince of the Monsters turns 50 in just a few short days! I’m going to celebrate later this month with a nice long review of Godzilla’s Revenge (aka All Monsters Attack), perhaps the funniest, strangest, sweetest, and Minya-est movie in the Godzilla canon.  It’s a personal favorite that I’ve been saving for a special occasion, and I can’t think of anything more special than the 50th anniversary of this wonderful goofball nerd monster sweetheart gracing the Earth with his presence.

I officially bit off more than I could chew in concocting the “12 Days of Minyamas” over on the Monsters Conquer the World Tumblr.  Intended as a 12-day celebration of Minya that would end on his special day (Dec. 16, the original release date of Son of Godzilla), I quickly and sadly realized I don’t have 12 days worth of new Minya content to provide, but there was a bonus review I was hoping to put together:

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Minya vs. The Aztec Mummy

If you’re reading this you might already know about the episode of Go! Greenman (no, not that Greenman) where Toho’s titular TV hero battles an evil clone of our main man Minya.  It seemed like a perfectly weird piece of apocrypha to spotlight as a special Minyamas gift to the world, but I sadly can’t find video of it to watch and review (I could only find a handful of seemingly random episodes and clips).  There’s not a lot about Greenman online in general (or at least in English).  Wikizilla has a wall-o text describing the episode, and it sounds like good wacky fun: Minya sucks on a pacifier, drinks from a baby bottle and throws a tantrum. Though they trade blows for a while, Greenman doesn’t even bother to finish off the titanic toddler, and instead busts a gut when the villains bitch at each other for making such a ridiculous kaiju. It’s not a lot, but here’s a clip from their battle!

Evil clone or not, it is satisfying to see “Minya” just beat the shit out of somebody bigger and ostensibly “cooler” than him.  This Minya’s taller stature and lumpy, muscular(???) build make it easy to imagine this is troubled teen Minya acting out.

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Pacifier and beefy biceps is a weird combo.

If anybody has a hook-up on how to watch this thing, please hit me up! It would truly be a Minyamas miracle!  Until then, enjoy some more images from the episode:

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Merry Minyamas friends!

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Ultraman Review Part 6: Episodes 14 & 15

Ultra Man - American Version OpeningAfter a couple months off it’s time to get Ultra once again! As always here are links to the previous installments if you need a refresher: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

This month’s pair of titanic tales gives us sea monster shenanigans, the subversive power of kids’ imaginations, Ultraman’s new face, the show’s most cheekily meta conversation yet, ULTRAMAN SPEAKS, and more! This show keeps getting radder and radder, so chow on a fistful of pearls, finish your chalk drawings, and click on through to get UIltra as hell, buddy.

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Ultraman Review Part 5: Episodes 11-13

tumblr_oiki9vLrt81vki3xpo8_500Let’s get Ultra, fools! I have no concept of how long it’s gonna take, but I’m determined to review every last episode of this show and after a couple months off I’m jazzed to dive back in.

If you haven’t checked out the previous installments or want a refresher, hit up Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4!

This month we get some of the (intentionally) funniest monster action I’ve ever seen, our creepiest antagonist since Baltan, and a fresh, funky formula shake-up! Pour yourself a nice tall glass of oil because shit’s gettin’ ULTRA in here!

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Ultraman Review Part 4 of ∞ Episodes 8-10

ultraman-logoMy in-depth review of the entire Ultraman series continues this month with some Ultra-tasty Ultra-selections! (If you haven’t already, check out Parts 1, 2, and 3!)

With this batch of episodes we get the introduction of three iconic Ultra monsters, a poignant visit from a VERY familiar face, and  Ultraman’s goriest kaiju kills yet! …Though they’re pretty tame compared to what will come later in the franchise! (big thanks to desro’saur 3300 for finding the clip!)

Grab your beta capsule, a pink ballon and hop into your monster-face shaped car because shit’s about to get ULTRA!

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Ultraman Review Part 3 of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Episodes 6 & 7

0f87a18b64d420dd65b7eb366f22f7acHey look, more Ultraman! Welcome to part 3 of my on-going review series! February is a short slippery little month that kind of got away from me, so this time I’m only breaking down episodes 6 and 7. Click here for Part 1 (series intro and pilot episode review), click here for Part 2 (episodes 2-5), and click here to see a fat raccoon somersault down somebody’s hallway.

We’ve got a pair of rad adventures on the docket this month: a kaijuified diamond heist by the sea, and an ancient cult of Ultraman worshippers in an exotic faraway city! Both episodes push the show in exciting new directions, and as always, pack in some kickass, over-the-top monster-mashing mayhem!

Fire up the Corvair and grab your diamonds and your giant blue magic gems, because it’s time to make some jewelry save the world from killer kaiju! Two more times!

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Ultraman Review Part 2 of ?¿? Episodes 2-5

ultraman_japanese_tv_series_title_cardMy Ultraman review series continues with episodes 2-5! If you haven’t already, be sure to read the intro section that goes over the first episode!  Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, we can dive into the outrageous adventures of Ultraman and his little orange buddies at the Science Patrol! In this batch of episodes, they tangle with a Creature from the Black Lagoon look-alike, a bloodthirsty flower, an electricity-slurping dino-freak… and one of Ultraman’s creepiest, most iconic villains!

Squeeze into your orange lycra, grab a couple million volts to munch on and fire up one of your many jets, it’s time to blast off with Ultraman and his Ultrafriends and Ultrafoes!

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Step aside Superman! Move along Mega Man! Ultraman is!… ultra… here? (Part 1 of ???)

Ultra Man - American Version OpeningIt’s been a long time coming, gang! I’ve teased it the last few months, did a dry run (of sorts) with Redman, and even did some special scheduling and pre-planning to boost my chances of even pulling it off: this month, I’m punching myself in the wiener as hard as I can reviewing the original Ultraman series! All thirty-nine (Jesus Christ) half-hour episodes!

Or at least, that was the original plan!

The hectic holiday season and the sheer volume of content at hand means I bit off way more than I can chew here.  To give Ultraman his due, MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD is gonna do something a little different for the next couple months. To start, this post will provide a brief intro/background on the series and then take an in-depth look at the first episode.  In the coming weeks I’ll nibble away at the monumental first series in bite-size chunks until I’ve devoured every single episode of Ultraman!  (Too many food metaphors, sounds like you’re going to eat him.-Ed.)

Considering my time management skills, am I still biting off more than I can chew? Maybe! Is it ridiculously overdue and absolutely worth it? You bet your beta capsules, baby!

Alongside Batman and Star Trek, Ultraman forms a triumvirate of hugely influential science-fiction/fantasy television shows that exploded into homes in 1966. Eiji Tsuburaya, the special effects warlock that gave us Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah (and therefore the Japanese monster boom of the 60s) birthed this bionic bad-ass and redefined the giant monster genre in the process. It’s a big ol’ slice of TV history… and a still-thriving multimedia/merchandising empire that rivals (and in some cases surpasses) Godzilla’s! Let’s find out what exactly is so Ultra about this man!

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