MONSTERS HAVE CONQUERED THE WORLD

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[Like I mentioned in my previous post, here’s my incomplete Godzilla vs Kong review! The further along it gets, the more unfinished it is, but I wanted to share what I had before signing off.  After the review I’ll cap it off with a  mess of closing thoughts. Enjoy!]

Godzilla vs. Kong is the movie I have been waiting for since I was a little boy.  Not necessarily this version of the movie, but a big budget, high-profile rematch between my two favorite monsters of all time.  I love these two big mean fuckers on their own, but together?  That’s pure movie magic. Totally audacious, unhinged imagination let loose and exploding on screens all over the planet.  

The more I learned about filmmaking and the more I paid attention to the film industry growing up, the more I came to believe that Godzilla and King Kong would never meet again on the big screen. Even when Legendary announced their plans to build towards this movie, I had my doubts.  A single MonsterVerse flop could easily kill the plan, a global plague could even more easily kill the plan.  And yet!!  And yet here I am, reviewing the movie I’ve hoped for and daydreamed for my whole life and spent over half my life convinced I would never get to see. Not only that, but the rest of the world at large (not just the kaiju fan community!) seems genuinely stoked! True randos were cooking up funny tweets and fan art and speculating about plot details in the lead-up to its release! I told a friend that the release of Godzilla vs. Kong felt like Monster Christmas, he agreed!

w9mn06r6gan61Godzilla vs. Kong, currently the capstone on Legendary Pictures’ ambitious MonsterVerse cinematic universe, has its problems, large and small… but it also delivers all the big, crazy, colorful, joyful, thrilling, scary, gross, and awe-inspiring fun you could ask for in the greatest monster prize fight rematch in history. Just the fact that there’s now a mega-budget, (relative) smash-hit Hollywood blockbuster that has a title starting with “Godzilla vs.” is incredibly exciting. The fact that said title ends with “Kong”?! I’m freaking the fuck out over here, gang. I will be for a long time ūü§£

This won’t be one of my usual reviews. Partly because I’m probably incapable of being objective about this movie (I have pretty bad recency bias on a good day, let alone for a movie I’ve daydreamed about since I was 6), but also because I want to talk about where I’ve been lately, the new kaiju boom we’re living in, and how I’m thinking about some major changes when it comes to my writing and this website. I’ve also been jonesing for an excuse to look back on what this site, the kaiju fandom, and the monsters themselves have really meant to me all this time–MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD was always a deeply personal project, and these last couple years especially have taught me a lot about myself and why these big stompy bastards matter so much to me.  

So this might be a sort-of kind-of a farewell post? Or at least saying farewell to the super in-depth kaiju reviews?  Who knows, I might feel completely differently in the near future and find myself re-inspired to get back to the big meaty reviews!  I’m not in a position to guarantee anything right now–so instead I want to just go with the flow and see where it takes me. Deep down I’ve been itching to pivot away from writing about other peoples’ creations and start writing my own stuff (I’ve threatened friends and family with fan-fic for years), and that’s at least some part of why I’ve had such a hard time getting out reviews the last couple years. Of course I can’t just WALK AWAY when there’s so much kaiju kontent to review, so for this big funky mega-post I will also do micro-reviews of every “Main Monster’s” filmography. For me that means Godzilla, Kong, Gamera, and Ultraman, and probably a few other odds and ends in there too [Had to ditch this, sorry. Maybe someday!]. This is a weird one and a big one and a personal one, so hoist up your glowing nuke-ax, buckle into your H.E.A.V. and grab a barf bag because we’re atomic breath-ing all the way down to the Hollow fuckin’ Earth!

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Don’t be a Godzilla: Ding-a-ling of the Monsters, Check out Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

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Holy goddamn, guys, it’s here! It’s been here for a little while now!¬† Didja see it? If not, go see it before you read this!

Of course I’m talking about¬†John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum!

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Uhh, joke or not, you should actually totally see this if you haven’t yet. I mean I love kaiju shit more than most, but the J-Dub movies fucking¬†S L A P.¬†Totally pure, no bullshit, pedal-to-the-metal, balls-to-the-wall action/revenge movie paradise. 3’s got axes, horses, MORE dogs, Halle Berry with dogs, and of course, the universe’s favorite son Keanu doing all the Keanu junk we all love.

No of course I’m talking about¬†Godzilla: King of the [MOTHER FUCKING] Monsters! It is… so much. The five year wait is finally over, and Big Fella is back on silver screens¬†tearing shit UP.¬† By now you’ve probably heard a lot about KOTM–what critics thought, what box office bean counters thought, and you might have even already heard what my friend Ralph and I thought IMMEDIATELY after watching it.¬† But some time has passed, I’ve actually had a chance to process it, and I wanna REALLY dig into this mo-fo.¬† You know, do that old school MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD SHIT.

Are the critics right?¬† Are the fans right? Is it like a lot of things in life, something nebulous in the middle?¬† Did I ascend to the next plane of consciousness watching this thing?¬† Hop aboard the Argo, fire up the Orca and say hi to Kevin, because we’re entering the realm of GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

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MCTW Podcast: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

godzilla-kingofthemonsters-japaneseposter-full-700x991Ralph and I saw¬†Godzilla: King of the Monsters, so you better believe we’ve got a big, juicy, turgid new episode of the Monsters Conquer the World podcast ready and waiting for you! We’re on the Google Podcasts app now, so you can’t escape us! We’re everywhere!¬† But in a cool, fun way. Like cheeky prankster ghosts or helpful, centipede-eating spiders.

We dig into the great, the good, and the uh not-quite-as-good aspects of the film. We go frickin’ spoiler crazy starting at 14:50, so you’ve been warned! Ralph is as insightful as ever, but there is also a non-zero chance he¬†may hail from a parallel dimension.¬† We also wax philosophical on the World’s Strongest Man competition, cinematic treasure Jason X, and¬† indulge in some extended Bradley Whitford appreciation.¬† Either hit us up on your pod-catcher of choice or click below and SMURSH that play button:

https://monstersconquer.podbean.com/e/godzilla-king-of-the-monsters-1559636457/

Digging it?  Liking it?  If yes, be sure to subscribe, rate us, tell your friends, whatever you can do! Anything you can do really does help, and you taking the time to do that means the (Monsters Conquer the) world to us.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters — Micro Review

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Just got home from¬†Godzilla: King of the Monsters.¬† Here’s my spoiler-free micro-review:

HO-LEEEE FUCKING SHIT

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If you are reading this I can all but gurantee you will have a shit-ton of fun seeing this bad boy in the theater.¬†¬†There is so much to unpack here, gang.¬† Fuller, deeper, spoiler-ier thoughts and content are on the way (after at least one more viewing ūüėČ ). Until then, check out this actual footage of me watching the movie:

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“Hahahah yay, horray!”

Don’t be a schlong, check out Kong!

kong-skull-island-poster-2After spending the last few months digging into the kaiju TV classic Ultraman, it’s time to shake things up again! ¬†And look, there just happens to be a brand new King Kong movie out this month! ¬†That by itself is more than enough to get me all riled up, but Kong: Skull Island¬†is also the integral next step in Legendary’s shared movie “MonsterVerse“! This movie paves the way for 2019’s¬†Godzilla: King of the Monsters and… (deep breaths, Matt, stay cool, Matt) my most anticipated film of all time, 2020’s¬†Godzilla vs. Kong.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s the scoop on this movie? Directed by some indie dramedy guy? Starring Loki, Jules Winnfield, Dr. Steve Brule, and Walter Sobchak? No T-Rex? No Empire State Building? Vietnam War? Is it even a Kong movie at this¬†point? Shit yeah it is, read on to find out how!

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Monsters announced for Godzilla 2! King Kong prequel! Godzilla video games! Exclamation Points!

This post will be a little different from my previous few.

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I haven’t watched my next movie yet, and that’s partially because I had some folks show interest in watching it with me, so you know, schedules and shit. ¬†Daigoro vs. Goliath is definitely next. ¬†Mainly because I’m 3 reviews in, and haven’t even touched the rich veins of camp and cheese that run through this genre. ¬†That’s okay though, because there’s a whole bunch of other giant monster shit to talk about! ¬†Come on and slam and welcome to the jam!

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“Godzilla” Delights Worldwide Audiences, Gamera Furiously Sobs Into Gigantic Pillow

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So originally I wanted to post my retrospective on the 1954 classic¬†Gojira before the new movie¬†came out, but these take longer to write than I think, so that uh, didn’t happen. ¬†However, I have seen the brand new Godzilla¬†in theaters twice now, and because I have the brain disease that makes me think about giant monsters all the time, I gotta rap about it. ¬†Straight up, it is not a perfect movie. That said, it just nails¬†so much of what I’ve always wanted out of a modern giant monster movie. ¬†Not only that, but despite being a Godzilla fan since childhood, this movie managed to surprise me… a few times. Part of the credit has to go to the fantastic and minimalist marketing campaign, but the bulk of it has to go to the filmmakers, who knew just how to craft an incredibly solid and satisfying monster film. Plus, it may or may not be a rip-off of an abandoned Godzilla movie concept from the 70s! I’m going to drop spoilers left and right from here on, but if you’ve already seen the movie or are just a bad-ass that is out of fucks to give, read on!

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