MCTW Podcast: Jason X!

51agbqbLBlLHoly frick! Oh doink! Shelley, one of our ruggedly handsome and effortlessly charming Patrons, has ascended to Godzilla status, giving them the atomic power to choose the discussion topic for an episode of Monsters Conquer the World Podcast! In their infinite wisdom they have chosen 2001’s Jason X! It’s a movie with everything! Space Jason (Spaceon)! Schrödinger’s robot nipples! Hilarious-looking future fashion! Oh yeah, and grisly, interplanetary murder. Almost forgot that last one.

We dive into all that and discuss the state of the Friday the 13th/Jason franchise, how Scream flipped the horror world upside down in the late 90s, Teletubbies, and our pitches for Jason’s next big stab-tastic adventure!

Join in the blood-splattered, deep space fun on your favorite podcast app, or click this lil’ link:  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

Shelley has dedicated this episode to Goofy Goof (a.k.a. “George Geef”???) and would like us all to take a moment to remember that the wacky, gangly dog-man is also a heartbreakingly good and loving father.  It’s a sentiment Ralph and I agree with vigorously and one that is especially salient with regards to Jason X’s Shadow Episode, which our Patrons will have access too in the very near future…

MCTW Podcast: Godzilla vs. Gigan!

godzilla-vs-gigan-plish-film-poster-1977Monsters Conquer the World Podcast is back for more Godzilla (but it’s only Godzilla if it comes from the Godzilla region of France, otherwise it’s just sparkling kaiju)! This time we’re digging in to 1972’s Godzilla vs. Gigan, a wacky tag-team rock ’em sock ’em epic about a cartoonist, weaponized corn, and a misbegotten amusement park!

We chat about PERFECT PEACE, the fascinating secrets of pro wrestling, and loud chewing! Oh and of course, the fact that 90s sci-fi comedy classic Men in Black ripped this off pretty much from top to bottom.

Hit up your favorite podcast app to listen in or just smack this link-a-rino:

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

Some thrilling news too: if you become a Patron at our brand new G O D Z I L L A tier, you can actually pick what we yap about for an episode!  WHAT?! Have we like, FULLY baked our noodles here?  MAYBE! Zip-zap-zop on over to our Patreon page for all the diggity-deets!  As always, hopping on at the El Chupacabra tier grants you access to our top secret shadow episodes–full bonus episodes that drop right alongside the normal ones! It’s very Us of us.  This time we chat about Crawl, the recent ‘gator flick!  Enjoy! 🐲🎧

MCTW Podcast: Gamera vs. Jiger!

3084393010_3e64c94602_bMonsters Conquer the World Podcast makes its first run at Gamera! 1970’s creature classic: Gamera vs. Jiger! I purposely told Ralph nothing about the movie going in–it is supremely fun experiencing it alongside a first-timer!

We sift through all the joyful insanity that is Gamera vs. Jiger and muse on Gamera’s capacity for baby fever, heroic child endangerment, a furious, heartbroken bouquet bashing, the disgusting beast Santa that we all hate, and that’s all before the final segment where we contemplate upcoming MCTW Podcast episodes!

Grab it on your podcatcher of choice, or slap this stinky linky for all the monster mashing mirth and mayhem:

https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/monsters-conquer-the-world

It’s all part of the KAIJULY craziness! If you want even more MCTW Podcast for your (hopefully telephone-pole free) earholes, consider becoming a Patron at the $5 level! Doing so grants you access to the Illuminati-like inner circle where you can listen to the forbidden Shadow Episodes.  In this one we talk about the recent Child’s Play reboot!

Whether you plunge into the Shadow World or stay in the Light, I hope you enjoy our stuff!

KAIJULY 2019

It’s that magical time of year: Kaijuly! Artists are churning out daily kaiju pieces (as always I’m getting a big kick out of Lisa Naffziger’s work), lucky Chicago-bound lil’ stinkers will be hitting up G-Fest this weekend, and today is fricking Ultraman Day! Monsters Conquer the World and Super Apartment Friends are joining in the monster mayhem too! Ralph and I just recorded a Monsters Conquer the World Podcast episode about Gamera vs. Jiger! That’ll be popping up in your favorite podcatcher soon! It was really, really fun watching this with someone who had no idea what they were getting into.

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I can earnestly say the episode will be worth a listen for Ralph’s monster impersonations alone.

But wait, there’s even more Kaijuly coolness! Czech it:

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Don’t be a Godzilla: Ding-a-ling of the Monsters, Check out Godzilla: King of the Monsters!

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Holy goddamn, guys, it’s here! It’s been here for a little while now!  Didja see it? If not, go see it before you read this!

Of course I’m talking about John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum!

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Uhh, joke or not, you should actually totally see this if you haven’t yet. I mean I love kaiju shit more than most, but the J-Dub movies fucking S L A P. Totally pure, no bullshit, pedal-to-the-metal, balls-to-the-wall action/revenge movie paradise. 3’s got axes, horses, MORE dogs, Halle Berry with dogs, and of course, the universe’s favorite son Keanu doing all the Keanu junk we all love.

No of course I’m talking about Godzilla: King of the [MOTHER FUCKING] Monsters! It is… so much. The five year wait is finally over, and Big Fella is back on silver screens tearing shit UP.  By now you’ve probably heard a lot about KOTM–what critics thought, what box office bean counters thought, and you might have even already heard what my friend Ralph and I thought IMMEDIATELY after watching it.  But some time has passed, I’ve actually had a chance to process it, and I wanna REALLY dig into this mo-fo.  You know, do that old school MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD SHIT.

Are the critics right?  Are the fans right? Is it like a lot of things in life, something nebulous in the middle?  Did I ascend to the next plane of consciousness watching this thing?  Hop aboard the Argo, fire up the Orca and say hi to Kevin, because we’re entering the realm of GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

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MCTW Podcast: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

godzilla-kingofthemonsters-japaneseposter-full-700x991Ralph and I saw Godzilla: King of the Monsters, so you better believe we’ve got a big, juicy, turgid new episode of the Monsters Conquer the World podcast ready and waiting for you! We’re on the Google Podcasts app now, so you can’t escape us! We’re everywhere!  But in a cool, fun way. Like cheeky prankster ghosts or helpful, centipede-eating spiders.

We dig into the great, the good, and the uh not-quite-as-good aspects of the film. We go frickin’ spoiler crazy starting at 14:50, so you’ve been warned! Ralph is as insightful as ever, but there is also a non-zero chance he may hail from a parallel dimension.  We also wax philosophical on the World’s Strongest Man competition, cinematic treasure Jason X, and  indulge in some extended Bradley Whitford appreciation.  Either hit us up on your pod-catcher of choice or click below and SMURSH that play button:

https://monstersconquer.podbean.com/e/godzilla-king-of-the-monsters-1559636457/

Digging it?  Liking it?  If yes, be sure to subscribe, rate us, tell your friends, whatever you can do! Anything you can do really does help, and you taking the time to do that means the (Monsters Conquer the) world to us.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters — Micro Review

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Just got home from Godzilla: King of the Monsters.  Here’s my spoiler-free micro-review:

HO-LEEEE FUCKING SHIT

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If you are reading this I can all but gurantee you will have a shit-ton of fun seeing this bad boy in the theater.  There is so much to unpack here, gang.  Fuller, deeper, spoiler-ier thoughts and content are on the way (after at least one more viewing 😉 ). Until then, check out this actual footage of me watching the movie:

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“Hahahah yay, horray!”

MCTW Podcast: Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster!

A1mC2faIfpL._SY679_Holy shit!  A full-blown, for-realsies podcast episode! I (a monster movie fanatic) yak with Ralph (a kaiju-curious new guy) about Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster! I’ve got the trivia nugs and industry secrets, but Ralph’s fresh eyes see a thoughtful, deeper meaning in the mayhem! Plus we frame the subs vs. dubs debate with the timeless classic Hercules in New York, reflect on the heart-wrenching father-son drama of A Goofy Movie, channel the wandering spirit of Don Knotts, get FUCKING PSYCHED about Godzilla: King of the Monsters, and more! Open the link below, slap that play button and join us!

https://monstersconquer.podbean.com/e/ghidrah-the-three-headed-monster/

Like it? If so, SICK! We’re gonna do more! You can find us pretty much anywhere you get podcasts (the iTunes store, Spotify, Stitcher, and coming soon to the Google Play Store). Bon appetit!… for your ears?!?!

Revenge of the Most Punchable Face in the Universe!

Godzilla_Anime_2_PosterSo the monthly reviews haven’t exactly been uh, monthly in a while, have they? A solid six months of the hiatus (starting last July) I can pin on getting, struggling with, and moving on from a job that was not a good fit.  The months after that are on me: adjusting to a new job, trying to make time for my people, balancing my other creative endeavors, and wrangling my stupid trash brain all left me without the normal level of chutzpah (and just, you know, time) I need to crank out reviews for your brain and eyeballs.

That stuff’s all true and accurate, but I couldn’t put my finger on why the holdup went on for so long after I worked out the job stuff.  Why have I had blogger’s constipation block? The big reason hadn’t dawned on me until VERY recently: IT’S BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SUBCONSCIOUSLY PUTTING OFF REVIEWING THE SECOND TWO GODZILLA ANIME MOVIES.

I wasn’t exactly crazy about Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters, so the prospect of two more full feature films in that world didn’t have me champing at the bit to do more watching and writing.  I’m the one fucking bizarro-world film fan that would rather write about stuff I love than dunk on shit I hate (which to be fair, I don’t hate PotM, just its cruel narcissist protagonist). Big ups then are in order for friend of the blog Ariccio, who Anime_Godzilla_3graciously hosted a stream of Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle and Godzilla: The Planet Eater.  Powering through them both on my own wasn’t something I looked forward to, but knocking ’em out with a bud was a pretty fuckin’ fun afternoon. It also helps that the movies genuinely get progressively better!

Since both sequels were handled by the same creative team as Planet of the Monsters, and since they all collectively tell one big, over-arching story  in the same unique world, I’m rolling my reviews of the two movies into one slightly lighter than normal article. A lot of the behind the scenes/deep dive stuff I normally do was already covered in my PotM review, anyway, so there’s just less junk to ramble about. That said, there’s still plenty of junk to ramble about! Put on your spacesuit, slather yourself in bug-dust, and pray for the second coming of Ghidorah, because we’re finishing this fuckin’ trilogy!

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MONSTERS CONQUER FACEBOOK

Believe it or not, there is a March review in the works! I’m still trying to get back into my old monthly review groove, but I’m not quite there yet.  That makes this Facebook news all the more heartening:

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Holy balls!  I started planning a celebratory movie marathon when we hit 200 likes a month or two ago, and out of nowhere we blew right through three hundo!  In a world full of social media professionals, Instagram models,  Twitter influencers, YouTube celebs, and whatever the fuck TikTok is, 300 likes on ye olde Book-Face might not seem like a big deal.  But for me, a random dipshit excitedly cussing on the internet about Godzilla, it’s insanely cool and exciting.  So that marathon?! OH YEAH BUDDY IT’S HAPPENIN’

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Here’s a mind-bendingly subtle hint about one of the features in the lineup. Good luck solving this Da Vinci Code, fuckers.

This is our first marathon through Facebook’s Watch Party feature, so we’ll see how it goes! If it works as intended, it’ll probably be the future of MCTW movie marathons (easy to use, baked-in community text chat).  The mayhem starts Sunday, March 31st at 12 noon here: https://www.facebook.com/monstersconquertheworld/.  See you then!!!

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