Ultraman Review Part 4 of ∞ Episodes 8-10

ultraman-logoMy in-depth review of the entire Ultraman series continues this month with some Ultra-tasty Ultra-selections! (If you haven’t already, check out Parts 1, 2, and 3!)

With this batch of episodes we get the introduction of three iconic Ultra monsters, a poignant visit from a VERY familiar face, and  Ultraman’s goriest kaiju kills yet! …Though they’re pretty tame compared to what will come later in the franchise! (big thanks to desro’saur 3300 for finding the clip!)

Grab your beta capsule, a pink ballon and hop into your monster-face shaped car because shit’s about to get ULTRA!

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Don’t be a schlong, check out Kong!

kong-skull-island-poster-2After spending the last few months digging into the kaiju TV classic Ultraman, it’s time to shake things up again!  And look, there just happens to be a brand new King Kong movie out this month!  That by itself is more than enough to get me all riled up, but Kong: Skull Island is also the integral next step in Legendary’s shared movie “MonsterVerse“! This movie paves the way for 2019’s Godzilla: King of the Monsters and… (deep breaths, Matt, stay cool, Matt) my most anticipated film of all time, 2020’s Godzilla vs. Kong.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, what’s the scoop on this movie? Directed by some indie dramedy guy? Starring Loki, Jules Winnfield, Dr. Steve Brule, and Walter Sobchak? No T-Rex? No Empire State Building? Vietnam War? Is it even a Kong movie at this point? Shit yeah it is, read on to find out how!

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Ultraman Review Part 3 of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Episodes 6 & 7

0f87a18b64d420dd65b7eb366f22f7acHey look, more Ultraman! Welcome to part 3 of my on-going review series! February is a short slippery little month that kind of got away from me, so this time I’m only breaking down episodes 6 and 7. Click here for Part 1 (series intro and pilot episode review), click here for Part 2 (episodes 2-5), and click here to see a fat raccoon somersault down somebody’s hallway.

We’ve got a pair of rad adventures on the docket this month: a kaijuified diamond heist by the sea, and an ancient cult of Ultraman worshippers in an exotic faraway city! Both episodes push the show in exciting new directions, and as always, pack in some kickass, over-the-top monster-mashing mayhem!

Fire up the Corvair and grab your diamonds and your giant blue magic gems, because it’s time to make some jewelry save the world from killer kaiju! Two more times!

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Ultraman Review Part 2 of ?¿? Episodes 2-5

ultraman_japanese_tv_series_title_cardMy Ultraman review series continues with episodes 2-5! If you haven’t already, be sure to read the intro section that goes over the first episode!  Now that we’ve laid the groundwork, we can dive into the outrageous adventures of Ultraman and his little orange buddies at the Science Patrol! In this batch of episodes, they tangle with a Creature from the Black Lagoon look-alike, a bloodthirsty flower, an electricity-slurping dino-freak… and one of Ultraman’s creepiest, most iconic villains!

Squeeze into your orange lycra, grab a couple million volts to munch on and fire up one of your many jets, it’s time to blast off with Ultraman and his Ultrafriends and Ultrafoes!

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Step aside Superman! Move along Mega Man! Ultraman is!… ultra… here? (Part 1 of ???)

Ultra Man - American Version OpeningIt’s been a long time coming, gang! I’ve teased it the last few months, did a dry run (of sorts) with Redman, and even did some special scheduling and pre-planning to boost my chances of even pulling it off: this month, I’m punching myself in the wiener as hard as I can reviewing the original Ultraman series! All thirty-nine (Jesus Christ) half-hour episodes!

Or at least, that was the original plan!

The hectic holiday season and the sheer volume of content at hand means I bit off way more than I can chew here.  To give Ultraman his due, MONSTERS CONQUER THE WORLD is gonna do something a little different for the next couple months. To start, this post will provide a brief intro/background on the series and then take an in-depth look at the first episode.  In the coming weeks I’ll nibble away at the monumental first series in bite-size chunks until I’ve devoured every single episode of Ultraman!  (Too many food metaphors, sounds like you’re going to eat him.-Ed.)

Considering my time management skills, am I still biting off more than I can chew? Maybe! Is it ridiculously overdue and absolutely worth it? You bet your beta capsules, baby!

Alongside Batman and Star Trek, Ultraman forms a triumvirate of hugely influential science-fiction/fantasy television shows that exploded into homes in 1966. Eiji Tsuburaya, the special effects warlock that gave us Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah (and therefore the Japanese monster boom of the 60s) birthed this bionic bad-ass and redefined the giant monster genre in the process. It’s a big ol’ slice of TV history… and a still-thriving multimedia/merchandising empire that rivals (and in some cases surpasses) Godzilla’s! Let’s find out what exactly is so Ultra about this man!

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Gamera: Guardian of the TWOniverse (Part 2 of 2)

gamera-guardian-of-the-universe2Welcome to Part Deux of my reveux of Gamera: Guardian of the Universe! If you haven’t read part 1, click here to massage your brain with all the appropriate words, pictures, and hyperlinks. Or don’t! It’s a free fuckin’ country, baby.

How about a little mood music to get you back in the swang of thangs?

Aw yeah, now we’re talkin’! In Part 1 I left us on a cliffhanger! Gyaos was on the verge of eating two of our leads (PLUS LITERALLY A RANDOM BABY), Gamera showed us his altruistic streak, and Asagi showed us the heavy toll she’d have to pay for that altruism! All that plus Roger Ebert’s weird-ass review and my stupid dick jokes await! What a time to be alive!

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Gamera: Guardian of the Galaxy I MEAN UNIVERSE PLEASE DON’T SUE ME DISNEY/MARVEL (Part 1 of 2)

downloadLooking back on the unmitigated diaper fire that is 2016, I noticed I’ve only done one Gamera review this year!  I’ve got something ultra special planned for next month, so I had to squeeze in some more titanic turtle before the year is up!  Being November, I naturally picked one where our chivalrous chelonian roasts some turkeys!

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (or its Japanese title Gamera: Giant Monster Midair Battle) was unleashed in 1995 and successfully rebooted the Gamera series. Directed by Shusuke “GMK!” Kaneko, scored by Kow “GM-FUCKING-K!!!!” Otani, with special effects by Shinji “did the fighter jet scene in GMK!”  Higuchi.

I really really like GMK, and Gammy here is what most of that dream team was doing pre-GMK.  If you’re playing a drinking game where you take a shot every time you read GMK, please call 911.  If you’re still conscious, great! This movie is a ton of fun, gave Gamera the second chance he always deserved, and in a lot of ways outshined Toho’s Godzilla output of the time.  Keep reading to find out how!

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